BOWLING FOR DOLLARS

The list of things in sports we do not need is already lengthy. Start with more fouls and more times-out in the final minute of college basketball games.

We most assuredly do not need more college football bowl games. But apparently they are on the way, like some invasive species heading for our backyard pond.

Four cities put in requests with the NCAA by the Wednesday deadline to get on a schedule that already includes … 39 postseason games. Must we really watch 84 teams competing after the regular season, when only four get tabbed for the College Football Playoff?

Of course we must. Austin, Texas wants a bowl game. Those six home University of Texas games each season couldn’t possibly be enough. Tucson, Orlando and Little Rock, Ark., desire bowl games. Maybe the Associated Press poll should be a Top 80 instead of a Top 25. Or AP could steal from Billboard and have a Top 100.

It is apparently not enough that there exists a GoDaddy Bowl, a Buffalo Wings Bowl (hmm, sounds tasty, and bring a bowl for the bones), the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (maybe there can be an Infamous Idaho Potato Bowl or an Obscure Idaho Potato Bowl), a Duck Commander Independence Bowl (the winner gets to command ducks), a TaxSlayer Bowl (it didn’t work, I have to pay this year), and a Foster Farms Bowl (which could expand to become the Foster Brooks Bowl, the Foster Homes Bowl, the Foster Child Bowl and the Stephen Foster Bowl). Did we mention the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl? If not, it was intentional.

More bowls. Bowls for everyone. Let no school go unrewarded simply because its football team went 2-11. We’ll take the two worst teams. We’ll match them up. They can play in the Ty-D-Bol Bowl. We’ll take the two tallest teams and put them in the Manute Bol Bowl. We’ll get the New York Jets’ coach to sponsor a game and have a Todd Bowles Bowl.

Bowl fever. Catch it – by the throat. And give it a good shake for me.
 
 
Post By: Larry Weisman, a longtime sportswriter for USA TODAY, blogs for Twistity.com. Follow him on Twitter @MrLarryWeisman .